Style:
Hitchhikers, Babblers, and Jaw Flappers
Be careful of the following words:
they gather other words around them, making your prose vague and
rambling.
Stretchy words:
type unless it's The New York
Times Large Type Cookbook, printed in large type. Don't say
"It's The New York Times Large Type-type cookbook."
to be as in "They thought
him to be a jerk."
different as in "many
different"
separate as in "each
separate"
cause as in "cause
corruption" instead of "corrupt"
individual students for students
use as in "The use of
alcoholic beverages is not allowed on the premises."
(translation: "No Drinking Allowed.")
particular as in "This
particular idea was good."
respect as in "The respect
in which I find Amherst better than Williams is its location."
(translation: "Amherst's location makes me prefer it to
Williams.")
case as in "In the case of
Amherst, I find it better than Williams," or "The nature
of the case suggests that Lucy was bitten by Dracula."
(translation: "The toothmarks on Lucy's neck show that Dracula
has bitten her.")
Stretchy phrases:
With regard to...
As far as _____ is concerned...
In the matter of...
Needless to say...(don't say it, then)
Due to the fact that...
At this point in time...(a Watergator)
(evil) in nature
(good) in kind
in order to (go right to the infinitive)
is in the process of being (is being, or is)
It is _____ that _____
various and sundry
is able to (try "can")
in terms of
by way of
provides a vehicle to show or
uses the vehicle to reveal (vehicles go, not show; go right to
"show" or "reveal")
It is my opinion that...(go ahead and say it)
indeed (often a weak verbal substitute for a rap on the table)
exhibits a tendency to (try "tends," or go to the main
verb)
avail oneself of (try "use," "get," or
"obtain")
make an attempt (try "try")
Dead adjectives and
adverbs:
These words fill sentences with
crackling static:
personal favorite
fundamental truth
true fact
necessary requirement
resounding commitment
gradually diminish
very (often useless as an intensifier; try a stronger adjective)
progressively improve
personal confession
Try to develop the habit of not taking
words for granted. Listen to your words to find the strongest points
of a sentence, then amplify those points by clearing away the crackle.
A hilarious passage from a letter to
the editor of a local newspaper contains many of the redundancies
listed above, plus a few malapropisms and gridlocks of word order. The
writer is trying to say that he and other local officials are trying
to clean up a polluted lake:
...Now that apologies have been
exchanged on clearing this point, it seems appropriate to consider
preening out the remainders of the, if you can pardon the
expression, other ruffled feathers. This was with regard to a
distinct and uncanny absence of any of my several comments on local
efforts.
These included the mention of a
committee appointed at Town Meeting to be comprised of
representatives from nearly every town board to further specifically
facilitate the tackling of safety and pollution difficulties at the
lake and a resounding commitment by Lake Association members to urge
motor boat owners to, after using, pull their engines from the
waters to diminish further oil drippings as well as a vow from the
gateman to do his best to keep waters flowing over the dam to drain
the lake.
Rough translation:
I want to clear up another point
about local efforts to clean up pollution. At Town Meeting,
representatives from local town boards formed a committee to
investigate safety and pollution problems. Lake Association members
voted to ask motor boat owners to pull engines from the waters when
they dock their boats, and the gateman promised to keep waters
flowing over the dam to drain the lake.
Passive
Voice
Intransitive
Verbs
Too
Many Little Words
Adverbitis
Hitchhikers,
Babblers, and Jaw-Flappers
Windy
and Pretentious Language
Balance
and Consistency